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1. |
Bitter
05:20
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I just want to stop the pain
To stop my mind from wondering
Where you are and what you’ve done.
I just want to understand
Why words of love have only made you bitter.
Now we’re both feeling strange.
I’m so full of love you will never know.
Wasting all this time, you’re not coming home.
I just want the dreams to stop
I’d rather face the sleepless nights than wake up so betrayed.
So surreal.
Wish that I could take it back,
But all this pain has only made me bitter.
Now we’re both feeling strange.
Now I’m so full of love you will never know.
Now you’ll just watch as your life unfolds.
I just want to stop the pain
To stop my mind from wondering
Where you are and what you’ve done.
If you find yourself confused
And you need this more than I do
Shine a light, and I’ll lead you in from the dark.
Shine a light, and I’ll lead you back to me.
If you find yourself confused
And you need this more than I do.
If you find yourself coming home.
I’ll lead you and forgive.
But did I?
Promised I would, but did I?
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2. |
The Lighthouse
03:53
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We are dying from the minute we’re born.
In peril from the moment we crawl.
And we’re waiting for our bodies to fail to end this all.
The medicines will move us along.
And vitamins just drive up the cost.
While “big pharma” holds our fate in its claws,
Its greedy claws.
Looking through the lens of naïve youth,
It all seemed so much simpler.
We’re crushed beneath anxiety and doubt,
This is our new normal.
My sister was the first one to call.
She said you’d better be on your way.
Cuz the doctors have done all that they can.
We’re out of time.
We packed our bags and flew out the door.
Raced against impossible odds.
And I texted her to try and hold on.
I’d be there soon.
We’ve made our choices now
There’s no turning back.
I could’ve been more kind,
And I’m sorry.
When we got there, she was already gone.
My family sat together and cried.
Then they took us to go say our goodbyes.
Our last goodbyes.
She was waiting when they opened the door.
I hugged her and I couldn’t let go.
And goddamn I’m really missing my mom.
I miss you, Mom.
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3. |
As You Were
05:53
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Did I make you mad?
Am I so hard to understand?
Was I supposed to cry when you said goodbye?
Did I make you sad?
Did I crush you where you stand?
An eye for an eye.
You’ve turned me into this.
How could you?
Thought the fight was over,
But it’s never over until you’ve won.
Thought that you’d remember
How it felt when we touched
How it felt to be as you were.
Did I make you smile?
The way that I once smiled for you?
But now it hurts to smile.
You’ve turned me into this.
It’s my way
And I can never change
It’s my way
But can you?
You said you’d stay,
Then left me sad.
You said I’m childish,
And you might be right.
I’m normal most the time.
As you were
Don’t say a word
Don’t ever change
Cuz I won’t try without you as you were.
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4. |
Silver Stars
05:49
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As you stare, silently, can you see?
All the things you cannot see become you.
Knee deep into yourself, I tried to hang on.
But my arms are tired.
You can sleep among the stars.
You can do this every night.
You can leave us all behind.
All the things that cannot be will haunt you.
Honestly, I cannot feel anything.
Wide awake, clutching a pillow, daydreaming about tomorrow.
I know you’re out there…
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5. |
Hoped You Couldn't Tell
03:39
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If I stare for too long,
I’ll blame it on your pale green eyes.
Then I see your smile,
And hope this never ends.
If I wait for too long,
I’ll lose this chance to make you mine.
Then I blink, and you’re gone,
Erasing all those years.
I know that I’m not perfect.
And I hoped you wouldn’t find out.
All those years by your side,
Were the happiest I’d ever known.
And what’s left of my heart
Will always weep for us.
When I look around here
The emptiness just brings me down.
If I stare for too long,
Tears start to flow.
Now today,
She’s dreaming of those past times.
When our lives were moving faster.
I know that I’m not perfect.
I’d just hoped you couldn’t tell.
Can’t fill these years without you.
Can’t face these fears without you.
Fifteen years couldn’t change me at all.
I’m so tired of the lies.
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6. |
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It’s not doubtful that I will feel restrained
Like I can barely catch my breath.
By the hour, my confidence depletes
Catch me if I fall.
So, now we move on
Holding our tongues too tightly.
Somewhere out there
But near enough to see.
It’s staring you down,
You’re frightened by the sound.
And still it’s the best you have.
You’re in love.
I’m a liar, and I will bring you pain
And then I’ll leave with no regrets.
Hey, you fumbled with my trust
You left me there to fall.
Still I’m reaching out
As strange as it sounds, I love you.
You’re not bringing me down
This feeling I’ve had is weakening.
This is how it will end
We’ll say we’re still friends, yeah
But you know we’re not, no, no.
The more we try to change
The more it stays the same
Nothing can save us.
It’s sad how all the things you wait for are gone
And all the things you want are not real
Only fables
And still it’s the best you have.
And still it’s the best thing, I know.
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7. |
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Summer left me with just one fear,
Am I insincere?
There is no one left to blame,
The sorrow still remains.
Summer’s gone, baby, I won’t waste my life.
I’ve let you go.
It’s sad to know.
You’re gone without a trace.
You’ve slipped right through my hands.
Love isn’t always about forgiveness,
When you lay wide awake hoping for no more pain.
Love isn’t always about forgiveness,
When you lay wide awake hoping to see another sunset by your side
To see another sunset through your eyes.
It’s the silly things that we forget.
The sweetest things that we forget.
The simple things that we just let die.
I’ve let them go.
It’s sad to know.
They’re gone without a trace.
Slipped right through my hands.
It took too long to figure out I’m running out of time.
It took too long to figure out I had to share your heart.
It hurts to think that we were nothing more than a song.
So soon it’s over,
So soon it’s over,
I’m sitting outside.
So soon it’s over,
So soon it’s over,
I’ll sit and watch how the sun has set.
I long for your embrace,
Slipped right through my hands.
Love isn’t always.
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8. |
Strangers
05:18
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Goodbye long summer days
Stormy weather looms overhead
Autumn’s amber leaves fill the air.
At a loss for my words
Staring silently at the rain
Candles flickering.
Precious times are the ones that I’m blind to.
And hello, dear
I am still here
Without you near.
And you’ll find one day
That your self-esteem is all make believe.
You’re like summer (with drops of rain).
When did we drift apart?
We’re strangers holding on by a thread
Blaming history in the end.
And you string me along
Thinking things are good when they’re not.
Pictures telling lies.
Shut your mouth,
There’s no need to pretend now.
My eyes lock on the stranger
The object of my faults
The other half of me.
Better late than never
I stepped outside our world
And then down came the rain.
I don’t like summer days.
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9. |
The Perfect Life
04:57
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I’ve sent my last letter.
This time it’s forever.
The sting will always get through,
All my life.
Not old enough to need this now.
Not old enough to know somehow.
That someday I won’t fear being with you,
Like I do.
And I can’t figure out what’s wrong.
That’s not me
Now that’s not you
It breaks the perfect life in two.
I’ll face the consequences.
Spend time in isolation.
But I won’t change like I used to,
I won’t hide.
I’ve blocked out all the countless times,
I broke your wings and watched you try
To reach me with your song.
I couldn’t hear you through the noise.
I’m scared of my own shadow
I’m scared to let you go
Are you lost forever?
Ashamed of what I’ve done
A shame you’ll never know
The man that I’ve become
Are you lost forever?
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10. |
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I’ve been hiding
For so long that I don’t know why.
I can’t help it
The discomfort is not worth the price.
Wasting life in slumber
With nowhere to go but down.
Where have you gone, my lover?
Far from here
I’m riding along
I can’t slow down
When I said that I was not lost without you,
An unfortunate slip of the tongue.
Victims of the heat
That precious Fourth of July.
Under sheets.
That summer’s come and gone.
Was I too dumb to notice?
How time stood still for a moment with you?
That summer’s come and gone,
But it’s all I have.
And despite the pain, I’m clinging on to it.
I still hear your voice
I still hear those words
And I know that you’ll never forgive me.
But I’ll try another day
I will try another day
Oh, the nights grow old and you’re nowhere near.
That summer’s come and gone.
Was I too dumb to notice?
How time stood still for a moment with you?
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11. |
Leland (feat. Mei)
04:36
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No more laughter echoes through the halls
Silence fills the space that was so warm.
I know that it’s not directly my fault,
But still it hurts
And I can’t face you now.
Tonight, I won’t forget
Tonight, I cannot sleep
And when I close my eyes
Still see your face… it makes me smile.
We grieve so quietly you’ll never hear a sound
We wish for simple things, but they’re not enough to make us whole.
I know that it’s not directly my fault,
But still I shout
And I can’t turn around.
Found him laying on the floor,
Poor Leland, we are not the same
It hurts again
And though you are gone, our love will go on
Your place in our hearts remains.
And though you are gone, our love will go on
Your place in our hearts remains.
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12. |
Fifteen Years
06:43
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She waves goodbye
How time flies… then it’s gone.
These aren’t simple times,
Silence reminds me that without you my world turned black.
Feelings change
My old dreams came back.
Don’t ask me why.
Her lips taste like candy.
You’re always too far away from here.
You’re always too far
And I can’t seem to find you.
I spend my nights counting stars
Pain filled memories haunt my thoughts.
These aren’t simple times,
Silence reminds me how my cries for you were left unheard.
The struggle went on for months,
But you held on
We almost made it, dear.
You leaving was not my choice,
I still need you
I’ll always need you, dear.
This time don’t be so down
It’s all you’ve ever asked
I’ll still love you wherever you are
I’ll still love you wherever you go
You say it’s not the end of the world,
It just feels like it
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Twelve Days in June Schenectady, New York
Turning back the clock & kicking down the door to the golden age of 90s alternative, Twelve Days in June is the studio project of Schenectady, New York’s Dave Hulegaard. Self-described as a “throwback” artist, Dave is a spiritual successor to the wide array of 90s bands who shaped his youth, crafting melodic rock songs with introspective lyrics examining the often-unbalanced human experience. ... more
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